Mindful Monday Word-Bullying
October is National Bullying Prevention Month. When is bullying OK? NEVER. There are many forms of being a bully or being bullied, none of which are attractive attributes to ones character. My initial thought is how sad it is that we need a month to bring awareness to prevent bullying. Is this is the world we created? None the less, it’s here and needs to be addressed. There is never a nice bully, a good bully, a kind bully or a bully that cares about you. While we were growing up, many moons ago, there was bullying, we would say things to the bully like: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” I’m not going to pretend I know what has changed or how this topic got so out of control. What I can do is suggest ways to prevent bullying. There isn’t anyone who wants their child to be bullied or to be the bully! Times they are a changing and we adjust to them and try our best to make the world a better place. An awareness that this is in fact an issue is important. You might say: “Kill them with kindness” or, “this too shall pass” However, the feelings that are filled in the heart of a child if they are being bullied should never be ignored. Nor should your child’s behaviors if you suspect that they are a bully. Our children need our guidance, our support, our attention. My favorite quote from Benjamin Franklin is: “TELL me and I forget, TEACH me and I remember, INVOLVE me and I LEARN.”
As a parent myself, I know this to be true. Our children are only little for a little while, take time to embrace them, guide them, teach them. You may think more often than not that your child doesn’t hear a word you say, they do. You may think more often that not that your child isn’t watching your own behaviors, they are. You may think more often than not that your own child would never want to be like you, they do. They are watching you, listening to your conversations and reactions, and hoping to be like you some day. Make wise choices, be aware of your own behaviors. When they hear kind words, they will speak kind words. When they see acts of kindness, they will perform acts of kindness. When they witness you saying and doing kind things, they will model these back. So simple!
Your awareness in your child’s behaviors is telling you something. It’s important to communicate with your children. My first suggestion to do this is to make eye contact with one another, show they you are listening to what they have to say, and let them know how important it is for them to listen to what you are saying as well. Allow them to ask questions, don’t just TELL them how they should react, or feel. Let them share with you how they are feeling or about something that they are encountering and want to share with you. Encourage them to discuss with you things that are on their mind, make them feel comfortable in coming to you with things that mean a lot to them, even though they may not seem that important to you. They are heavy on their mind and they want your support. COMMUNICATE.
EDUCATE your child on what it means to be a bully so they are not one. Educate your child on what a bully is and build their comfort in coming to you with things that are happening to them during the day, at home, at school or in the community. When you provide a child with a firm foundation they will grow with it, go with it and learn from it.
Give your child the proper TOOLS to know the difference between being mean, being rude or being a bully. Have this discussion with your spouse and other family members so that everyone is aware of them and on the same page. It’s not OK to let things slide hoping that they will get better, or the situation will go away. Provide your family with the tools to cope with the topic. This is your preference on how the tools, you may suggest they first come to you for help, to walk away from the situation, to tell the bully to stop or suggest they have a buddy with them whenever they can.
INVOLVE yourself in your child’s activities. If your able to volunteer at their school, team or club. Please do so. You’ll meet their peers, see them in action and show them that you’re there for them. You may not be able to do this often, but once in awhile is better than never at all. It helps builds such a nice relationship with your child. You should also know protocol for what bullying is in the team or classroom.
TEACH your child not to bully. For me, a tried and true practice through the years was this: when a child came to me to share that so and so did that or said this, I took the two of them aside to discuss it. I asked each child to share their side of the story, after all, there are always two sides. Then, I asked the child why they said or did it, and asked the other child how it made them feel. This way they each had their say. Now, flip it, ask the bully how they would feel if this was said or done to them how it would make them feel? This gives them another perspective on the situation. Hopefully this is just a one time occurrence and the children will move on, I’d keep a good eye and ear out none the less.
We have an activity book and coloring book starring Warm-Hearted Walrus. This is a fun and engaging way to open up the lines of communication with your children on bullying. Get out the crayons and spend some quality time to discuss bullying with your child. We also have other published books to support your teachings to not be a bully with your child or classroom. It’s vital to provide them the tools to not be a bully, be a buddy instead. By encouraging your own child to be kind, not to bully is a great place to start and to make a difference in the life of a child. These are our books. Click here for Peace sign with Warm-Hearted Walrus.. Click here for character Halloween print out.
